The Book of Forgiving

All of us have at times needed both to forgive and be forgiven - whether small, everyday harms or real traumas. But the path to forgiveness is not easy. How do we let go of resentment when we have been harmed, at times irreparably? How do we forgive and still pursue justice? How do we heal our hearts? How do we heal the harm we have caused others? And how do we forgive ourselves?

Drawing on his memories of reconciliation in post-apartheid South Africa, Archbishop Tutu offers four concrete steps to forgiving and being forgiven:

1. Admitting the wrong and acknowledging the harm
2. Telling one's story and witnessing the anguish
3. Asking for forgiveness and granting forgiveness
4. Renewing or releasing the relationship